Benefits of the Midlife Checkup

Taking the time to assess how your life is going at this point can result in benefits such as these:

• It can help you identify and intensify your inner strengths.

• You can find your own voice and express it your own way.

• You can accept your changing physical self.

• It is an opportunity to forgive those with whom you’ve been angry.

• It can help you find ways to reduce stress.

• You can learn to simplify your life.

• You can reenergize yourself in preparation for the second half of your life.

Generation X

Generation X is at midlife right now. This generation includes over 7 million Canadians born between 1966 and 1980. As Gen X moves through midlife and into their later years, their societal impact continues — shaped by unique experiences of economic change, shifting family structures, and evolving social norms in Canada.

Typical Feelings

People passing through middle age typically experience the following kinds of feelings.

Great expectations: Most Gen Xers are beginning to recognize their own limitations. Now that they are turning 50, many are shocked to discover that there are limits to life’s possibilities. They are no longer “young,” and facing a future without young children to raise and careers to nurture can be destabilizing. Many are asking themselves questions such as, “Is this the life I wanted?” “Do I want to keep doing this for another 10–20 years?” “What’s next for me once kids or work aren’t the centre of everything?”

Regret: As people reach midlife, they must face up to the loss of some of their dreams and regret the mistakes they have made. It is not easy for anyone to face the person one will never be.

Loss and Change: At midlife, everyone has to face the loss of beauty and youth, valued by our society. People this age may ask, “How am I 50 already?” when they feel younger on the inside. This birthday milestone may also bring worry about health changes or mortality and wanting to stay relevant in a rapidly changing digital world.

Meaning: The middle years can bring a search for meaning. As they face the fact that time is limited, Gen Xers typically become even more intent on this need to analyze and search for significance. An acceptance of life’s imperfections can be a part of this meaning-making. Hopefulness about shaping a meaningful “second half” can lead to a focus on purpose, legacy, or impact.

Financial Pressures: Gen X is the current “sandwich generation.” Many are caught between supporting children (including adult children living at home), managing rising housing or cost-of-living expenses, and helping aging parents with care or finances. This can create stress, worry about retirement readiness, and a feeling of “never getting a break.”

Strong desire for balance and boundaries: Many Gen Xers often feels done with overwork, less tolerant of drama or obligations, more focused on mental health, rest, and saying “no”, with a desire to simplify life and protect their time.

For most people, life at age 45 or 50 doesn’t match the dreams they had at age 20 or 30. When Gen Xers reach this age and are even slightly disappointed by their achievements and experiences, their feelings may be compounded by their strong sense of both independence (growing up as self-reliant “latchkey kids”) and fatigue after decades of juggling careers, kids, mortgages, and family responsibilities. Many Gen Xers feel worn down or stretched thin. But there is also a positive side to this. The tendency to reflect and explore can help one look for new possibilities instead of being stuck with feelings of disappointment.

Keep all of this in mind as you complete the Midlife Checkup. It is a list of 29 unfinished sentences that will help you assess your life to date. The items on this list provide a framework for conducting your own assessment. Please add your own ideas that you think will help you reflect on your life’s direction.

The Midlife Checkup

1. My most important accomplishments are…
2. I am disappointed about…
3. I would describe the person I turned out to be as…
4. I want to change the following things about my self and my life…
5. Things I want to do before I die….
6. If I knew I couldn’t fail, I would…
7. Things I have mastered…
8. Things I want to keep…
9. I want to keep these relationships…
10. I want to let go of these relationships…
11. I want to keep these possessions…
12. I want to let go of these possessions…
13. I want to have these experiences…
14. I want to clean up these messes…
15. I want to celebrate…
16. I don’t ever again want to…
17. My body is…
18. My children are…
19. My parents are…
20. My spouse is…
21. I want to remember…
22. I want to forget…
23. I must apologize to…
24. I must seek an apology from…
25. I am most proud of…
26. I wish I could forget about…
27. I wish I could do over…
28. I wish I had never…
29. I wish I had…
30. Add your own items: