Nighty-Night
With the lazy days of summer behind us, it’s time to turn our attention back to the regular routines and structure of school days. One of the first things to slip when the days grow longer is the usual bedtime. That’s not necessarily a problem during the summer, but it can definitely become one in September. Even if your routine hasn’t changed much, because you’re still working and your kids are still going to day care, now is a good time to ask yourself if your evening routines run as smoothly as they could.
We live in a chronically sleep-deprived culture, where saying, “I’m sooo tired” is considered normal, unavoidable, and practically required. Unfortunately, that mindset often affects our children too. Their bedtime routine often turns into a loose suggestion rather than a dependable structure.
You don’t need to let the clock run your life, but if you want your kids to reach their full potential and function well each day, you need to make sleep a priority. Even if you can’t get them to bed as early as you’d like, don’t let them stay up later just because there’s no routine in place.
Start by sitting down with your kids what your bedtime routine needs to include. Story time, teeth brushing, bath, getting changed, songs and/or prayers, special time with Mom and Dad… write it all down. Estimate how much time you’ll need to go through the full routine. Then, help your kids find pictures in magazines or online that show each activity. Put the pictures in order on a board. Now you’ve got your bedtime routine chart.
Refer to the chart as you move through each step: “Ok, we’ve had a bath; what’s next on the list?” or “After we brush our teeth, what does our chart say we do?” Letting your children help decide the order of activities can really go a long way to getting their buy-in.
What if things don’t go smoothly? Well, we need to remind ourselves that as parents, we can’t control what our kids do, only what we do. So if the kids are goofing off or dragging their feet, calmly let them know you’ll help with changing into pj’s for the next two minutes. If they choose not to get changed in that time, they’ll go to bed in their clothes. That might not seem like a big deal, but the goal isn’t to punish them – it’s to give them real choices in situations where they can make decisions, and to avoid turning bedtime into a power struggle.
Once the time for getting changed has passed, let them know how many minutes remain before you start the story (or whatever else is on the list). If someone isn’t ready, they can join in the story when they are. Start reading at the set time—even if no one is there. If they show up late, let them listen, but don’t restart the story. After the story, it’s hugs and kisses, then lights out. If one of the kids has missed a step along the way, he or she will face the natural consequence of that choice, like missing part of the story, sleeping in clothing, or skipping sugar the next day because teeth weren’t brushed.
This routine might not work perfectly right away, but stick with it so your children can begin to internalize the steps. Let them help shape the routine and decide what should happen when a step is missed. If something doesn’t feel right, invite their input. The two most important keys are deciding how you will respond and staying consistent. With time, you’ll create a bedtime routine for kids that includes stress-free nights and sweet dreams.
Consistency in bedtimes really mattersQ
Need some help with morning routines?