The expression goes, “it takes a village”. Raising kids was never supposed to be a solo endeavour, yet today’s parents often end up feeling very alone. In some ways, it’s easier when our kids are little—everyone from our aunt to the dry cleaner asks how the baby is sleeping, whether she’s eating solids yet, and what words he’s saying.

 But as our children grow, we often lose touch with the moms’ groups that were our lifelines during maternity leave. Many parents never find a new group to fill that gap. That isolation can leave a parent who is fighting nightly homework battles wondering if anyone else is struggling the same way. Or a parent grappling with how to manage internet and phone access with his children wondering how other parents make it work. 

 Without support, parents can feel anxious, overwhelmed, and unsure of their next move, especially when facing issues our own parents never dealt with: Facebook, online predators, smartphones, cyberbullying, self-harm… the list goes on.

Even the most confident parents struggle with moments of self-doubt when they face bullying, social cruelty, and the fear that one wrong move could shape their child’s future. And there’s no quick fix for any of it. So what can a well-meaning parent do?

We need to create a new village. We need to stay connected and open with other parents, and seek out like-minded people to share ideas and support.  A “support group” was typically a group containing members coping with a similar problem that the rest of the world couldn’t relate to – an illness, perhaps, or an addiction – but in this case, the shared challenge is universal: raising kids.  

Maybe it isn’t a formal group meeting twice a month in a church basement. Maybe it’s just a trusted network of parents we can turn to when the questions pile up and the worries creep in. Sometimes, just knowing we’re not alone gives us the strength to face hard decisions and move forward without beating ourselves up.

No one has all the answers. It’s time to stop assuming everyone else does, and it’s just us who are unsure. We need to reach out to one another, share our wisdom, support one another, and stand together with parents making tough choices for the good of their children.

This is the 21^st century village that our kids – and their parents – need.

Is it wrong to ask for help?

Working with your child’s teacher.

What if part of your support network is grandparents who disagree with your choices?

Can’t find a support network you trust? Take a look at some of my favourite books for ideas.